Bitch face, too skinny, short, loud. Growing up, it was too easy to feel insecure. I had anxiety speaking in front of people because of the exhausting fear I had of being judged by others. I was quiet, shy, and afraid of standing up for myself. Over the years I went through phases of being extremely skinny, to being extremely skinny with glasses and braces, to getting contacts and getting my braces off, to finally feeling confident in my own skin. It definitely took years and is still something I’m constantly working on but I found that what truly got me breaking out of my shell was realizing that I had to do it for me. Here are some tips that I found helpful in finding my own confidence
- Realize how much you truly offer to the world. Everyone is worth something. Even if you don’t entirely see it, we’re all born with a gift of uniqueness and difference that caters specifically to us and only us. When I accepted that my downfalls weren’t to define me, I was able to slowly lift myself up with positive attention to what I can do for the world. List out all the great things about yourself and you’d be surprised at how much power you really hold.
- Fake it ’til you make it. I don’t see anything wrong with playing the part of the person you want to be until you are that person. I watched a video yesterday about how to be a photographer (I think) and the person said if you want to be a photographer, then BE a photographer. Play the part, do what photographers do, work hard everyday, don’t just label yourself as an amateur, and eventually you’ll be exactly that–a photographer! I’m finding this one to be a true testament of what’s going to make or break my future. If I don’t act like what I want to be, I won’t become what I want to be.
- Put in effort. I know this sounds quite simple but I find that when I put effort into just getting out of bed, effort into getting myself ready and put together in the morning, being proactive about my days, I feel 100% more confident in myself. I’m not giving up on myself or giving up the value of my days. I’m investing in me and it’s going to come back around to make me feel more confident about who I am and what I’m doing.
- Stand up for yourself. When other people doubt you or tell you what you don’t want to hear, make sure you let them know what’s real!!!! When I was younger, this girl came up to me and asked if I was anorexic. At the time, I didn’t even know what that meant but someone else had answered, “of course she’s not.” I remember thinking, why can’t I defend myself and someone else has to come to my rescue? You have to be your own biggest fan. No one else.
- Hold your head up high. Stand tall, speak strongly, and look people straight in the eye. Even the little characteristics of your presence needs to exude confidence. Let other people know your confident, then you will be confident. Start with small things like making eye contact when speaking with people. Next, correct your posture. Speak louder than your used to. Eventually, things will start coming together and you’ll be the baddest person in the room.
Females constantly tear each other down. Find people who empower you as much as you empower yourself and others. It will make a world of difference during your everyday life, believe that!